Fan Club, I know you have all been waiting for me to announce this, but I have just been too busy! Just monitoring my parents and brother Fitz is such hard work that I hardly have time to fit in the odd nap or two.
So I am slightly tardy in doing so, but here it is – my sister Pgy has had a baby girl puppy! Her name is “Matilda” which isn’t as good a name as Milo, but still not too bad. (although I think sister Pgy should have named her “Milo-ette”) Matilda weighed quite a bit when she was born, which is probably why sister Pgy only had one puppy in her litter.
Matilda doesn’t seem to do very much right now, but daddy says soon she will be playing Run & Jump with us. I hope she has a brindle coat and 4 paw drive like I do, but we’ll have to wait and see.
Guys, as you know, I’m the most gorgeous dog in the world. Ask anyone, they’ll tell you. I only have to look in the mirror to see I’m right!
I don’t even have to try to be gorgeous! (photo by my dad)
So you can imagine how disturbing it is when this gorgeous-ness is interrupted. How disturbing, you ask? Very.
Before you ring round with an ambulance, I’ll tell you what’s up. I have a SKIN RASH. I don’t know how this has happened, but I have little bumps on my skin. I wonder if I have the measles? Or the mumps? Or maybe my brother Fitz gave it to me.
Daddy says that is not true, but you do have to wonder.
My brother Fitz and I hate small dogs, we really do! And if they are small, fluffy dogs, that’s even worse!
There is a man who drives a little van on our mountain, and he has a car full of Yorkshire terriers. When he drives his little van past my house, I can hear all the little fluffy dogs yapping their tiny brains out, and it drives me bananas!
My brother Fitz played with the Yorkshire terriers one day. When the man got out of his car, some of the little dogs jumped out of the car, when we were right beside it! They started yapping and jumping around Fitz, so he grabbed one and tossed it over his shoulder. How funny is that! (Fan Club, before you throw up your hands in horror, no, the YT was not hurt!)
Daddy won’t let us play with the Yorkshire terriers anymore. Even though “Throw the Yorkshire terriers” is a super fun game. Rats.
I just found out my sister Pgy is coming to visit me soon! Apparently my parents have known this for a long time, but no one told the Dogmeister! Outrageous!
Our sister comes to see me every once in awhile, probably because she misses my gorgeous face. And who can blame her?
This time, she is bringing along her pet Dan. I have met Dan before, and he thinks I’m gorgeous, too. And who can blame him?
My brother Fitz will probably be sad that no one fusses him while they are here, but that’s kinda tough. It isn’t his fault he’s not gorgeous like I am, but hey!
Again, Fan Club, it’s been ages since you’ve heard from me! It’s my mum’s fault, she is too lazy to type my stories for me!
You can see from this title how abused I am. My brother Fitz and I now have no collars at all. So no one knows our name, our phone numbers, or who our daddy is. Isn’t that horrid?
This is because our old collars are very tatty, and our daddy is too ‘frugal’ to buy us new ones. So today I finally made my mummy buy us collars, so nuts to daddy!
Fan Club, you are probably wondering where I have been lately! My brother Fitz and I have been at holiday camp for the last week, but now we are home, so my minion (aka mummy) can type my blog for me.
Holiday Camp is ok. We get to:
- eat big meals twice a day
- play ball with our friend Viv
- carry our friend Michelle around in our mouths
- bark at other, inferior dogs
However, we do not get to:
- play Run & Jump or Bite or Cat or any of our other good games
- cuddle on the couch with daddy
So all in all, I think we would rather be home, even though the service is poor here.
Plus, we missed going to our sister Peggy’s wedding! I know she wanted me there, because I am so beautiful! And after seeing her wedding photos, I know I would have been the only pedigree there.
The nice thing is, I heard that my friend Ben the Lakeland Terrier wasn’t there either. So hah to him.
Fan Club, I know you know I have a little brother who is called Fitz. Or, as I like to call him, Hippo Bum.
I can’t remember ever NOT having a little brother, but I’m sure my life would be better if I was an Only Dog. I try to run outside with my brother, and run over the hill – maybe he won’t find his way back. But he always does, which is really irritating.
We played Fight and Bite at the garden today, and he always annoys me by trying to just jump on me. He never follows the rules of my games, which is really irritating.
My daddy says I would miss him if he was not around, but I’d like to try it myself to see if that’s true!
Fitz with a dumb look on his face (photo by Kenton@imagenary.co.uk)